Tag Archives: divorce

Why Trying to Be Understood Is So Exhausting: Rethinking our Response to Daily Hurts.

Kim came downstairs for breakfast that morning only to find the coffeemaker full of old coffee. Yesterday’s brew sat in the pot, looking stale and dead. Her husband had always woken up earliest and was the designated coffee-maker in the family.  Kim could count the number … Continue reading

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Why It’s So Hard to Build Healthy Relationships After Growing Up in Chaos

When we grow up in emotionally chaotic households, we face challenges in establishing healthy adult relationships. When chaos is the norm, we get accustomed to living with what feels bad and scary. We learn to silence our experience because it feels too … Continue reading

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Freedom: Taking Ownership of Your Own Happiness

“Lily doesn’t listen,” had been Shelly’s refrain about her partner for years. She had complained many times to me about this issue, and yet somehow her wife’s behavior didn’t change, and Shelly’s anger and frustration about it also didn’t change. Lily’s … Continue reading

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Do You Feel Alone When You’re Together? How to Deepen Your Connection With Your Partner

A lot of couples show up in my office because they don’t feel deeply connected.  Often, one member of the couple feels like she can’t connect with her partner and is lonely in the relationship.  Couples describe intimate relationships that contain a paltry supply of … Continue reading

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What is Forgiveness, Really? When “Letting it Go” and “Burying the Hatchet” Fail…What Works?

What is forgiveness and how does it happen?  We talk so much about forgiveness, throw around so many slogans, and yet it seems that we all have radically different ideas about what it actually means. We want to know how to forgive … Continue reading

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