How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers
The first time it was suggested to me that I stop trying to think up a solution to the situation I was trying desperately to solve, to figure it all out, it sounded a lovely idea. But truth be told, I had no idea how to put this advice into action. Resolution, for me, had […]
Why You Can’t “Figure Out” Your Way to Happiness
We spend our early years learning how to do stuff; we learn to walk, talk, read, play sports, have conversations and everything in between. Early on, we’re indoctrinated into the belief that knowing things holds weight and is important for our happiness and even survival. Knowing makes us valid, valuable, powerful, sought after, and many other positive things. Knowing makes […]
Living In The Question: When Not Knowing Is The Answer
We are obsessed with knowing. We demand answers to all our questions and confusions, answers to even the as-yet unanswerable. And, we demand that we find answers quickly, to save us from having to sit in the unknown. We’re taught from the earliest age that not knowing is bad, we’re bad, or at least not as good if we don’t […]
Why Surrender is So Powerful, and How to Experience It?
Surrender is at the heart of all spiritual practice; no path is more powerful or profound. But what does it mean to surrender? And what does it not mean? Surrender is too often misunderstood, boiled down to a few affirmations about “letting go,” and then misused as a self-help instruction. But, in our misunderstanding, in our trying to do surrender with […]
You Can’t Change Someone Else But You Can Do This
So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set […]
How to Feel Better and Trust Life: The Practice of Surrender
When confronted with difficult feelings, or any feelings really, my tendency is to want to figure out how the feelings will serve as my teachers, make me more aware and help me grow as a human being. That, I guess you could say, is my way of keeping feelings at a safe distance and under the control of my mind. Some […]
When Is It Time to Stop Trying to Fix Ourselves?
Are you a self-help junkie? Even if you don’t have a stack of books on your bedside table detailing the newest ways to fix yourself, you still might be. And it wouldn’t be your fault if you were. Our conditioning from a very young age is to believe that we need to become better, new and improved versions of ourselves, even […]