Comments on: What is Forgiveness, Really? When “Letting it Go” and “Burying the Hatchet” Fail…What Works? https://nancycolier.com/forgiveness-really-letting-go-burying-hatchet-fail-works/ Psychotherapist, Author, Interfaith Minister & Thought Leader Fri, 05 Oct 2018 14:29:58 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.1 By: Nancy Colier https://nancycolier.com/forgiveness-really-letting-go-burying-hatchet-fail-works/#comment-124 Fri, 05 Oct 2018 14:29:58 +0000 https://nancycolier.com/2018/04/10/forgiveness-really-letting-go-burying-hatchet-fail-works/#comment-124 In reply to Saff.

A good question, saff. sometimes we have to forgive ourselves for keeping a safe distance from those who harm us continually, and are also not able to take responsibility for it. still, when we forgive, we don’t have to presume the other will not do it again. we forgive the hurt that was caused, and, make sure to take care of ourselves with the person going forward. we hope they will not repeat the behavior but that is not always the case and certainly not in our hands.
in support,
nancuy

]]> By: Saff https://nancycolier.com/forgiveness-really-letting-go-burying-hatchet-fail-works/#comment-123 Sun, 16 Sep 2018 17:35:38 +0000 https://nancycolier.com/2018/04/10/forgiveness-really-letting-go-burying-hatchet-fail-works/#comment-123 What if you forgive but the person you forgave does the same thing again? If they refuse to have compassion for or even acknowledge your pain, what is to stop history repeating itself again because they are unable to see how their actions are creating that pain in you? I imagine most people would, in the first instance want to forgive someone who wronged them but the very act of doing so is also an act of trust to presume they won’t do it again either to them or someone else.

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