Comments on: Responding Mindfully When Your Partner is Projecting On You

By: Nancy Colier

Nancy Colier — Wed, 12 Feb 2025 13:51:28 +0000

In reply to Samantha Baker. hi samantha, it sounds very toxic and painful. it's nobody's job to keep someone else sober. his sobriety is his responsibility. have you been to any kind of couples counseling? have you been to alynon? might also be a good idea. sounds like you need to get outside help in addition to your own therapy. sending you great strength and support.

By: Samantha Baker

Samantha Baker — Wed, 29 Jan 2025 02:16:03 +0000

Hi! living with this now. My husband will predict we will fight based on my texts or verbiage in a phone call. and i dont even know why. and i simply try to calm him and even say thats not going to happen its ok stop worrying all is fine. but when we meet up at home literally i avoid him because he starts gaslighting me telling me im not a supportive enough wife to help him stay sober im horrible im a bad person all these things and i will go 2-4 hrs of this.that its all me. if i say anything back he will get worse even saying what u suggested and laughs at me. i try to become teflon and ground myself. he follows me he gaslights me more. until i leave. i dont know what else to do. i dont want our 15yr old to hear us argue. and these arguments are over nothing. he creates them then blames me. killing my self esteem. is it wrong to leave? i dont know what to do? am i a bad mother? our son is 15 and we have 4 furbabies. but nothing stops our fights unless i cry and beg for forgiveness for something i dont even know i did. my therapist says run! help!

By: Nancy Colier

Nancy Colier — Thu, 07 Nov 2024 02:24:06 +0000

In reply to Bree. Reach out to me at nc@nancycolier.com and we can set something up. Warmly, Nancy

By: Bree

Bree — Sun, 03 Nov 2024 12:25:06 +0000

Hi Nancy.
I would love to discuss some things with you.

Thanks.

By: Nancy Colier

Nancy Colier — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 10:34:52 +0000

In reply to Cj. You can always say "my sense is that you feel...but only you can know that." or something that awards them the authority on their own experience. or somethin glike "it feels to me that you are in a such and such place..." it's so tricky to language it right but if they do experience it as invalidation, you can also lay that out. as in, "it feels TO ME that you feel invalidated..." but it's important to claim your own experience of the other and not state your interpretation as if it's fact. let me know how it rolls out. good luck. warmest, nancy

By: Nancy Colier

Nancy Colier — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 10:31:33 +0000

In reply to Mark. Mark, You make a very good point. No, it's not okay to treat your partner badly because you are feeling crappy. And yes, this needs to be pointed out at times. It is definitely bad behavior and we are not dumping grounds. You can simply say somethin glike "It seems you are in a foul mood and I don't know why, but maybe we should pick this conversation up when it feels like a better time to be kind to each other." Or something that both identifies what you see and moves away from the problem in the moment. see how that rolls. warmest, nancy

By: Cj

Cj — Mon, 28 Oct 2024 04:08:19 +0000

What if your partner interprets your wording of “you felt” as invalidation?

By: Mark

Mark — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 11:18:24 +0000

I liked the article yet I feel there still needs to be a placement of boundaries.

Just because you feeling shitty doesn’t mean it’s ok to project onto me.

Yes it explains it, and I can be empathetic to a point, but it doesn’t excuse the behaviour.

By: Dr Hyacinth Kinley

Dr Hyacinth Kinley — Fri, 20 Sep 2024 15:53:49 +0000

In reply to Tina. Oh, I understand and feel you 100%. I pray things get better for you Tina!

By: Dr Hyacinth Kinley

Dr Hyacinth Kinley — Fri, 20 Sep 2024 15:52:38 +0000

It is VERY Painful!!! I’m tired of giving, being understanding, forgiving, loving, and crying!!!