Tag Archives: blame

Are Healthy Relationships Possible After Growing Up in Emotional Chaos?

When we grow up in emotionally chaotic households, we face challenges in establishing healthy adult relationships. When chaos is the norm, we get accustomed to living with what feels bad and scary. We learn to silence our experience because it feels too … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault

Bill came to see me because his wife “never takes ownership of her own behavior.”  Bill is married to a blamer.  No matter what difficulty she experiences, there’s always someone or something else to blame for it, but not her.  … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

When Feeling Guilty is Your Natural State

Do you ever feel like you’re inclined to accept the blame when things go wrong?  The truth is, some of us are more prone to feeling guilty, as if a background sense of guilt is just wired into our system.  Even if we don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What to Do About the People Who Blame You for Everything

My recent post: “When You’re In Relationship With A Blamer,” inspired overwhelming feedback, both from people who feel they receive blame and those who think they’re blamers. (Encouragingly, many blamers expressed the desire to change their blaming habits.) The questions I raised included: … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Why We Hold Grudges and How to Let Them Go: It’s Not About the Person Who Wronged You, It’s About Who You Want to Be

Karen, 65, is very angry at her ex-boyfriend. It seems he asked her best friend out on a date, a few days after breaking up with Karen. He was her boyfriend in high school. Paul, 45, can’t forgive his sister, because, … Continue reading

Posted in Blog | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments