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The More We Make Room for What Hurts, the Better We Feel
This past weekend I witnessed an event that was both utterly simple and utterly profound, an
How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers
The first time it was suggested to me that I stop trying to think up a
Putting the Brakes on Overthinking
I talk and write a lot about why we overthink and ruminate so much, and keep
When COVID Threatens to Break Up Your Relationship
The pandemic has massively disrupted normal life, creating conflict and suffering in innumerable ways. This much
How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers
The first time it was suggested to me that I stop trying to think up a
Has the Pandemic Changed Your Desire to Socialize?
So much in our lives has changed over the last 18 months. The way we work,
Harmony in Relationship Does Not Require Agreement
James and Anna came to see me because of a big fight they were embroiled in.
Do You Have the Courage to Be a Good Friend?
Have you ever told a friend about a deeply upsetting experience and then had the friend tell
How We, as Women, Give Away Our Power
Gwen was a working comedian when I first met her. She wasn’t famous yet, but it
Why We Can’t Stop Thinking About the Same Problems
Have you ever noticed how frequently your mind returns to problems and situations that cause
You Go, Girl: Growing Up On Cotton Candy Cliches
My babysitter gave my 10-year-old daughter a scrapbook. The sparkly pink binder was filled with adorable
What If We Acted a Little Kinder Than We Felt, or Thought?
A feeling of joy and relief has arrived for many people in this country. After four
Are You A People-Pleaser at Your Own Expense?
Petra was furious when she woke up in the morning—furious at herself. The previous evening, she
Surviving 2020, One Panic Attack at a Time
Wow, 2020! Our year of anxiety. Many of us are walking around with a sense of
Are You Having a Conversation or Seeking Validation?
Basic truth: When conversing with other human beings, most of us are inclined to offer an uh-huh, hmmm or head
Must We Always Be Striving For A Better Life?
Switching from the five-year plan to the right now plan… The workshop started with a simple
Why It’s So Hard to Be (Fully) Honest With Your Partner
Jill and her husband had attended a friend’s party, and Jill came home upset. Her husband’s
We Weren’t Always As Good As We Are Now, So What?
Why there’s no shame in crawling before we walk. There’s something profoundly disturbing going on in
Preparing Your Partner to Listen: The Simple Change in Behavior That Can Radically Change Your Relationship
Ava wanted to tell her husband about a troubling and upsetting argument she’d had with her
Freeing Yourself From Your Partner’s Behavior
I recently wrote an article about a client who enjoys her marriage and who also struggles with her
Keeping Your Life Simple, Even After the Pandemic is Over
Are you starting to feel anxious about the world opening up, about possibilities becoming possible again? We’re not there yet, but are
The Harder Life Gets the Softer We Need to Be
When life gets hard and things go wrong, the most counterintuitive and seemingly impossible choice is to relax,
When Your Relationship Is Not What You Think It “Should” Be
There comes a time in every relationship when you realize that something you think you need
Rushing to Be Okay Before You Are Okay
From the time we’re young, we’re taught to find the silver lining in every cloud, to
Hitting the Pandemic Wall
How to keep going when you’re depleted and there’s no finish line in sight. As a
Just Because It’s Family Doesn’t Mean It Isn’t Toxic
We are buried in “shoulds” when it comes to what we’re supposed to do with family
How “Should” You Do a Pandemic? Are You Falling Short?
It’s remarkable, but the feeling “I’m not doing enough” can survive and thrive even in a
Parenting in a Pandemic: Staying Calm Because We Have to
So, we’ve baked 1,002 brownies, made 76 LEGO castles, played 43 rounds of UNO, read seven chapters
Within Every Crisis, A Profound Opportunity Appears
In times of fear, we return to the simple joys, and to each other. Yesterday, with
Have You Turned Your Partner Into the Villain in Your Inner Movie?
Married for 12 years, Lisa and Cliff were enjoying a fun date night out. Back at home,