Tag Archives: shame

When It’s Always Someone Else’s Fault

Bill came to see me because his wife “never takes ownership of her own behavior.”  Bill is married to a blamer.  No matter what difficulty she experiences, there’s always someone or something else to blame for it, but not her.  … Continue reading

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When Feeling Guilty is Your Natural State

Do you ever feel like you’re inclined to accept the blame when things go wrong?  The truth is, some of us are more prone to feeling guilty, as if a background sense of guilt is just wired into our system.  Even if we don’t … Continue reading

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When We Shame Ourselves: How to Unhook from Self-Shaming Thoughts

For many (dare I say most) people, spending time with parents can unleash some pretty strong emotions. No matter how grown up we are, our original family can put us in touch with deep hurts, primal longings, unmet needs… a tsunami … Continue reading

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Why We Hold Grudges and How to Let Them Go: It’s Not About the Person Who Wronged You, It’s About Who You Want to Be

Karen, 65, is very angry at her ex-boyfriend. It seems he asked her best friend out on a date, a few days after breaking up with Karen. He was her boyfriend in high school. Paul, 45, can’t forgive his sister, because, … Continue reading

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