Are You Feeding On Your Pain… Past Its Expiration Date?
Intimate relationships include pain, at least every intimate relationship I have ever been in or witnessed. And most, if we’re lucky, include pleasure too. We cannot change the fact that pain is included in intimacy, but how much pain we endure is, in part, up to us. As a therapist and a wife, I think […]
Loving A Narcissist Without Losing Yourself
My 10-year-old was invited to a party this weekend, a camp reunion sleepover, given by one of her closest friends. Unfortunately, this same weekend, she has an event that she can’t and doesn’t want to miss, a competition for which she has trained diligently and for many months. The other little girl is very angry […]
How to Practice Mindfulness With No Special Skills
Mindfulness is hot, and like all hot topics, it comes with a lot of truths and a lot of falsehoods. Teaching mindfulness, I hear the same questions arising time and again, misunderstandings really about what mindfulness is and what it means as a practice or way of life. Indeed, most of the obstacles that we […]
We Are Using The Same Words But Are We Speaking The Same Language?
I learn a lot from the comments I receive on my blogs. I learn not only about what resonates and is helpful for people, but also about who we are and how we think, communication itself, which then teaches me more about what might be helpful going forward. There are some teachings that I re-learn […]
How to Ask a Friend for What You REALLY Need
We all go through hard times now and again. And when the hard times come, we need good friends to help us through. I have been hearing a lot of stories about friendship lately, and it has gotten me thinking about what we really want and need from our friends, particularly when we are in […]
How to Stop Judging Our Own Desires
So many of us judge the worthiness of our activities based on the nature of the activity itself rather than the intention/opportunity for growth behind it. We decide that we want to study jewelry making, folk guitar, pottery, balloon-twisting, baking, or anything else. Soon after, we ask “What’s the purpose of doing that?” “Aren’t I […]
When Will This Exact Moment Matter?
In my last blog, I spoke about one of the reasons that we have such a hard time being present in the NOW. In short, we cannot enter the NOW and must remain outside it, watching it, managing it, in order to protect our identity: how we will be seen as a result of our […]
Stop the Train and Let Me Into My Life!
Stop the train, i want to get off! This is the refrain I hear all day in my office. The feeling is that life is whizzing by outside a window and needs to somehow stop so you can actually experience it. What is the cause of this? We are not experiencing our life because we […]
More Reliable Than happiness
There is a state of being that is far more reliable than happiness. There is a place inside us that is okay regardless of whether the situation in our life is okay. I call this place wellness. We are well when we are no longer reliant upon our circumstances in order to feel grounded and good. We […]
Why Blog?
Today I am beginning my blog. Why? Because I have written a book that I am now shopping to agents and publishers. I am hearing the same thing back from each, “You do not have enough of a platform for us to get behind you. The material may be fabulous but if we don’t know […]