Nancy Colier

Are You A People-Pleaser at Your Own Expense?

Petra was furious when she woke up in the morning—furious at herself.  The previous evening, she had met up with an old friend visiting from out of town.  He was going through a rough divorce and needed to talk.  Petra went into the evening ready to listen, and to be a good friend. Based on the fact […]

Are You Having a Conversation or Seeking Validation?

Basic truth: When conversing with other human beings, most of us are inclined to offer an uh-huh, hmmm or head nod every now and again, to let the other person know we’re hearing them and receiving their information. These gestures are a way of maintaining a connection in the interaction and assuring the other person that we’re with them in […]

Why It’s So Hard to Be (Fully) Honest With Your Partner

Jill and her husband had attended a friend’s party, and Jill came home upset. Her husband’s friendliness—and what looked like flirtation—with another woman kept her awake all night, feeling hurt, angry, and threatened. She knew her husband loved her; she wasn’t worried that he would cheat. Still, the whole thing made her feel bad. She tried […]