Should vs. Want: Freeing Yourself From the “Shoulding” Habit
Have you ever noticed how much of your life is driven and dictated by the word (and feeling) of should? Most of us devote an inordinate amount of time and energy to doing and being what we think we should do and be. At the same time, we spend a surprisingly small amount of attention on what we […]
How to Have a Healthy Relationship With Your Emotions
Lina was someone who ruminated and worried all the time. Her mind was constantly busy chewing on and planning for one problem or another. She desperately wanted relief from her thoughts and the cacophony of her mind. And so we went to work. Through the practice of mindfulness, Lina learned to witness her thoughts; she discovered […]
Self-Care Is Not Selfish
Maya had just accepted a job. It wasn’t in the field that really interested her, but it was a good position with many positive features. Her new supervisor was flexible and had kindly pushed back the start date for the job by a week to accommodate her childcare situation. He seemed relieved and excited to […]
A Better Way to Make Hard Choices
Making a difficult decision can be overwhelming and paralyzing for some people. Decisions are difficult because we want a certain outcome but don’t know which choice will deliver it. And so we fret, ruminate, think and think and think some more, all in an effort to figure it out. Caught in Indecision We get caught […]
Self-Care: When You Need More Than a Trip to the Spa
When we reach our forties and fifties, many women go through a powerful and profound change process. By this point in life, a lot of us have succeeded in creating a good life. We’re living comfortably, making a substantial income, and thriving in our careers. We’ve launched our children; they’re in college or finishing high […]
An Ode to Feeling Uncomfortable
It seems that we’re no longer willing or able to tolerate feeling uncomfortable. And furthermore, we’ve come to believe we shouldn’t have to tolerate any kind of emotional discomfort. Any situation that could possibly trigger uncomfortable feelings is now viewed as overwhelming, unnatural, and in need of correction. So then, what’s discomfort—this experience that we […]
The Greatest Gift You Can Give a Long-Term Partner
When we think of virtues, we usually think of the classics: wisdom, compassion, humility, patience, fortitude, courage, kindness, gratitude, and the like. But there are a number of underrated, less-discussed virtues that are vitally important in creating a good life. One that rarely makes the top-ten lists is curiosity. When it comes to virtues, curiosity gets short […]
You Have Permission to Like Yourself
Is there someone in your life who frequently critiques you and often points out what you’re doing or have done wrong…how you should improve? Is there someone close to you who gives you the feeling that maybe they don’t quite like you as you are? We all know people who seem to know how we […]
When You Use Food to Check Out on Feelings
Most of us have heard the term “freshman 15,” referring to the 15 pounds many college students put on in their first year away from home. But a similar phenomenon occurs for many adults over the wintertime. When we have to stay inside, we humans go through our own hibernation process, which often results in […]
Teen Suicide Rates Are Rising: How to Help Our Kids
Parenting teens in a difficult world requires listening and watching closely. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently reported a startling statistic on teen suicide: Emergency room visits for attempted suicide among teenage girls were up 51.6 percent in the first months of 2021, as compared to 2019. So, what’s going on? […]