How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers

The first time it was suggested to me that I stop trying to think up a solu­tion to the situation I was trying desperately to solve, to figure it all out, it sounded a lovely idea. But truth be told, I had no idea how to put this advice into action. Resolution, for me, had […]

Putting the Brakes on Overthinking

I talk and write a lot about why we overthink and ruminate so much, and keep thinking about all the worst parts of our lives, all the things that bring us pain. At the most basic level, we stay hooked on our thoughts because thinking gives us a sense of control. It makes us feel […]

Has the Pandemic Changed Your Desire to Socialize?

So much in our lives has changed over the last 18 months.  The way we work, socialize, eat, exercise, entertain ourselves, travel, and everything else, all has been altered.  But more than just what we do has changed, what we want has also changed, or maybe not changed exactly, but just become more clear. Before the […]

Why We Can’t Stop Thinking About the Same Problems

  Have you ever noticed how frequently your mind returns to problems and situations that cause you pain, and insists on rehashing what’s wrong? It’s a strange phenomenon really, our addiction to thinking about problems. Even when we don’t want to think about what’s bothering us, still, we keep thinking about it. Why do we do this, […]

What If We Acted a Little Kinder Than We Felt, or Thought?

A feeling of joy and relief has arrived for many people in this country. After four years of going to bed with our stomachs in knots, hearts heavy and brains on fire, trying to make peace with yet another horrible thing, it will be a while before our shoulders fully drop and the knots in […]

Surviving 2020, One Panic Attack at a Time

Wow, 2020! Our year of anxiety. Many of us are walking around with a sense of trepidation, if not abject fear, in our bellies, and brains. Sometimes it feels like there’s so much to be afraid of, so much on the line right now, that there’s literally no way to be OK. So, what are […]

Must We Always Be Striving For A Better Life?

Switching from the five-year plan to the right now plan… The workshop started with a simple question: What do you want? That question was followed shortly with What is your deepest intention? And then, What do you want to create in your life? Out then came the magic markers, poster boards, glue sticks, glitter, and all sorts of other art supplies. […]

Freeing Yourself From Your Partner’s Behavior

I recently wrote an article about a client who enjoys her marriage and who also struggles with her partner’s angry outbursts. The article garnered some fierce criticism. To recap: After many years of explaining to her partner how and why his anger (and denial of that anger) was hurtful and not okay, his behavior continued, barely impacted by her […]

Keeping Your Life Simple, Even After the Pandemic is Over

Are you starting to feel anxious about the world opening up, about possibilities becoming possible again? We’re not there yet, but are you feeling a little nervous nonetheless, with maybe even a tinge of loss? For a lot of people, this phase of the pandemic is bringing with it a new and unexpected kind of stress. The anxiety that’s bubbling up right now is not about life closing […]

Are Healthy Relationships Possible After Growing Up in Emotional Chaos?

When we grow up in emotionally chaotic households, we face challenges in establishing healthy adult relationships. When chaos is the norm, we get accustomed to living with what feels bad and scary. We learn to silence our experience because it feels too dangerous to speak up for ourselves or call anyone out on their behavior. As children, […]