How to Overcome Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship
Most of us feel insecure in relationship from time to time. But for some, it’s a chronic condition that never subsides. Insecurity in a relationship prevents us from speaking our truth, being genuine and honest with our partner and ourselves, and expressing what we really need and want. When we don’t trust the relationship, we […]
Pokemon, No? Putting Down Our Phones to Meet the Real World
Two men fell off a cliff in California playing “Pokemon Go,” apparently, trying to catch characters in the virtual game. And, I suppose, trying to gain the bragging rights that come with such a catch. It would be easy to chalk this up to a “Pokemon” issue, the distraction of the moment, but it would also be […]
Can We Get Addicted to Disappointment?
Most all of us are disappointed and hurt by our parents, from time to time. It’s just part of being a human. But for some, t’s not just from time to time, it’s pretty much all the time. When the disappointment and hurt is so consistent and painful, we can build a core belief that we will always be disappointed and […]
Why Surrender is So Powerful, and How to Experience It?
Surrender is at the heart of all spiritual practice; no path is more powerful or profound. But what does it mean to surrender? And what does it not mean? Surrender is too often misunderstood, boiled down to a few affirmations about “letting go,” and then misused as a self-help instruction. But, in our misunderstanding, in our trying to do surrender with […]
When “Posting” Your Life is More Important Than Living It
On a recent visit to the Museum of Modern Art with a friend and her daughter, meandering through the museum’s exhibits, I was struck by how often my friend’s 13-year-old daughter asked us to take photos of her (on her Smartphone) in front of the artwork. Her head tilted, she gazed contemplatively at the pieces, the […]
You Can’t Change Someone Else But You Can Do This
So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set […]
4 Steps to Stop Blaming
This is the third blog in a series on blame. I wrote the first two blogs to help those who feel consistently blamed, while this installment is for those who do the blaming. It was not my original intention to write a piece for blamers, but I was inundated with (and inspired by) emails from readers who self-identified as […]
How to Feel Better and Trust Life: The Practice of Surrender
When confronted with difficult feelings, or any feelings really, my tendency is to want to figure out how the feelings will serve as my teachers, make me more aware and help me grow as a human being. That, I guess you could say, is my way of keeping feelings at a safe distance and under the control of my mind. Some […]
When Is It Time to Stop Trying to Fix Ourselves?
Are you a self-help junkie? Even if you don’t have a stack of books on your bedside table detailing the newest ways to fix yourself, you still might be. And it wouldn’t be your fault if you were. Our conditioning from a very young age is to believe that we need to become better, new and improved versions of ourselves, even […]
Meditation: Coming Home to Your Heart
This is a meditation to help you remember where home is. You are always here, in your heart, closer than a breath away. Your heart is always awaiting your presence, awaiting your attention, awaiting you. Know that your refuge is always available to and inside you. Come home to you.