How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers

The first time it was suggested to me that I stop trying to think up a solu­tion to the situation I was trying desperately to solve, to figure it all out, it sounded a lovely idea. But truth be told, I had no idea how to put this advice into action. Resolution, for me, had […]

Putting the Brakes on Overthinking

I talk and write a lot about why we overthink and ruminate so much, and keep thinking about all the worst parts of our lives, all the things that bring us pain. At the most basic level, we stay hooked on our thoughts because thinking gives us a sense of control. It makes us feel […]

When COVID Threatens to Break Up Your Relationship

The pandemic has massively disrupted normal life, creating conflict and suffering in innumerable ways. This much we know. But what I didn’t know, or expect, was how much disruption and the particular kind of conflict the pandemic would create in marriages and long-term relationships. For the first year of the pandemic, couples actually managed well. […]

How to Relax When You Don’t Have the Answers

The first time it was suggested to me that I stop trying to think up a solu­tion to the situation I was trying desperately to solve, to figure it all out, it sounded a lovely idea. But truth be told, I had no idea how to put this advice into action. Resolution, for me, had […]

Has the Pandemic Changed Your Desire to Socialize?

So much in our lives has changed over the last 18 months.  The way we work, socialize, eat, exercise, entertain ourselves, travel, and everything else, all has been altered.  But more than just what we do has changed, what we want has also changed, or maybe not changed exactly, but just become more clear. Before the […]

Harmony in Relationship Does Not Require Agreement

James and Anna came to see me because of a big fight they were embroiled in. The issue was money, which I learned they had been arguing about for years, with no resolution. However, within a few minutes, it became clear that money was not their only or actual problem. They had vastly different ideas […]

Do You Have the Courage to Be a Good Friend?

Have you ever told a friend about a deeply upsetting experience and then had the friend tell you all the reasons why that experience won’t be upsetting at some point in the future? Have you ever been that friend who offers that advice? If we’re no longer a child, we probably already know that our feelings are going to change […]

How We, as Women, Give Away Our Power

Gwen was a working comedian when I first met her.  She wasn’t famous yet, but it seemed that she was on her way there.  I had never met an artist who pushed herself so hard.  No matter how tired she was, she showed up at every audition and never said no to any possible opportunity.  […]

Why We Can’t Stop Thinking About the Same Problems

  Have you ever noticed how frequently your mind returns to problems and situations that cause you pain, and insists on rehashing what’s wrong? It’s a strange phenomenon really, our addiction to thinking about problems. Even when we don’t want to think about what’s bothering us, still, we keep thinking about it. Why do we do this, […]

You Go, Girl: Growing Up On Cotton Candy Cliches

My babysitter gave my 10-year-old daughter a scrapbook. The sparkly pink binder was filled with adorable photos of the two of them eating ice cream, drinking smoothies, ice skating, wearing rainbow wigs, dancing to Tik Tok videos, and all the other Instagram-ready photos we’re so familiar with these days. In between the photos, my sitter had […]