Breaking Free from the Tyranny of Thought: Stop Feeding Your Mind and it Will Stop Biting You
Anyone who has ever practiced mindfulness knows that there is something akin to a wild animal living inside each of us. We call that wild animal “mind.” If you stop for just a minute, right now, and pay attention to what your mind is telling you, I am certain that you will hear all sorts […]
When Old Friends Stop Being Good Friends
Friendships change, and not always for the better. Sometimes we find that a friend with whom we have had a long and important relationship is no longer someone that we particularly like or enjoy being around. Perhaps the friend has changed and become someone different or perhaps we have changed, and what used to work […]
Letting Go of Toxic People: When Staying In It is NOT More Spiritual
We all have people in our lives who have profoundly harmed us. Sometimes the situation with the other person has changed. You may have forgiven them and they may even have taken ownership and expressed remorse for their harmful actions. Other times, the same harmful behavior goes on with no change or responsibility. To your […]
Finding Permanence in a Pixelated World
Last week, I went to Friday night services at synagogue. Immediately following, and all week in fact, I have been aware of feeling profoundly human, grounded and well — a part of something much larger than just myself. As is customary, the evening included singing, meditation and a talk by the rabbi. The topic of […]
Why We Are Addicted to Checking Email… and How to Get Your Life Back
I check email more often than I should, and more often than I enjoy. I am not alone in this. I have clients and friends who check their email up to 100 times per day. Some, even more. Given the amount of pleasure that email actually delivers, it seems that the urge to check it […]
Why We Should Be Grateful For What We DON’T Get: Harvesting the power of absence.
Every year, I attend the last church service of the year. At the end of December, the minister asks us to write down all the things we want for the coming year. We then draft a letter to ourselves that we will receive a year later (sent back to us by the church), in which […]
Does Self-Love Mean Self-Ish? Why We Are Afraid to Take Good Care of Ourselves
We talk a lot about self-care in this culture, but what does self-care really mean? For most people, self-care translates to getting a massage, taking a walk, eating lunch away from our desk, enjoying an ice cream cone, putting on our oxygen mask first. These are all valid self-caring activities, but a deeper level of […]
The Cry for Certainty in an Increasingly Uncertain World: Why We Need to Know That Some Things CAN’T Happen
When my nine-year-old daughter asks me if something like what happened in Newtown can happen at her school, I say “No, absolutely not.” I tell her that things like this simply will not happen. Can we know for sure that horrific things, unimaginable things, will not happen? No, the truth is we cannot know for […]
Self-Parenting 101: Learning to Take Your Own Side
How would you treat yourself if you were someone you loved? This is one of my favorite questions. It is not only instinctive to take good care of someone you love, but also to take good care of yourself. Unfortunately, we are trained to un-learn our loving instincts when it comes to ourselves. Many people […]
Virtual Togetherness
When I first heard Eric Whitacre talk about his virtual choir and its debut on YouTube, a virtual choir and the power of crowds, I got the chills. First, I was chilled by the music, Lux Aurumque (light and gold), which is heartbreaking and captivating, and like all great music, has the power to connect us […]