Can We Learn to Want What We Have?
Thanksgiving is a day of thanks and giving, as the name implies. It’s a day we set aside to feel and express gratitude for all that we have, to slow down and nourish ourselves with what really fills our bucket. We focus on what’s good, what we love—our blessings. We fill and fulfill ourselves with good food, good […]
Because Our Thoughts Make Sense Doesn’t Mean They’re True
Trying to find peace with the mind is like trying to open a lock with a banana… Carol came to see me with a serious agenda. She and her husband had had a disagreement the evening before our session and Carol wanted to explain to me why her husband had said what upset her, and […]
A Woman’s Right to Have Needs: The Next Revolution
As women, we are raised to be accommodating. We’re rewarded for taking care of others, being generous and compassionate. We learn, through a whole system of subtle and not so subtle measures, to put other’s needs before our own. We learn to keep the peace, often at the expense of our own needs. We are […]
Am I Supposed to Be My Kid’s Friend?
I give frequent talks to parents on issues related to technology. After my presentations, parents ask for advice in managing their children’s behavior. I hear similar questions and worries everywhere I go, with slight variations depending on the population of my audience. However, I am nearly always met with one specific concern that comes in […]
Mindful Speech: Using Your Words to Help Not Harm
When we want our kids to express themselves in ways other than tantrumming or throwing peas at the dog, we say “Use your words.” But I often wonder, do adults really know how to use our words skillfully, in ways that help and don’t harm? This morning I was on a train listening to a mother […]
How Thoughts Get in the Way of Being Present
If just one word were to go in a time capsule to represent our society right now, the word would have to be “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is in every book title, workshop, conversation, idea, and everything else we now encounter. We’re a society obsessed with mindfulness. So what is this thing we’re all talking about and presumably trying to create? And […]
The Invisible Mom: If You Feel Unappreciated as a Mom, You’re Not Alone
Being a mom is perhaps the most all-inclusive and demanding job in the history of “man”kind. It’s impossible to capture what running a family with school-age children entails these days, but here’s a very, very, very short list of Mom’s job… -Life management: schooling, homework, tutoring, forms, academic, athletic and social schedules, playdates, activities, camps, birthdays, health care, […]
What is Forgiveness, Really? When “Letting it Go” and “Burying the Hatchet” Fail…What Works?
What is forgiveness and how does it happen? We talk so much about forgiveness, throw around so many slogans, and yet it seems that we all have radically different ideas about what it actually means. We want to know how to forgive and yet it can be very hard to achieve or practice something that we don’t […]
When We Can No Longer Silence Our Truth
This week something remarkable happened—change happened. When a long-present way of feeling or behaving transforms, I view it as a miracle, a gift of grace. Two months ago, a dear friend, someone I consider family, asked to borrow money. I’m working a lot these days (thankfully) and therefore could provide the help. My friend told me that […]
Choosing Love Over Fear: Responding From Love Not Reacting From Fear
Reject fear, choose love. This is a popular refrain and wonderful advice. Many believe that there are only two primal emotions in the human being, love and fear, and that we cannot feel both at once. And, that in the same way that light removes darkness, love can remove fear. The choice to reject fear and choose love can feel like […]