Must Our Kids Get a Suitcase of “Swag” After Every Party?
My daughter returned from a birthday party this past weekend carrying a bag monogrammed with the party girl’s name, and inside it, a pair of pajama shorts, pajama pants, sweatpants, two T-shirts, one zip-up sweatshirt, two pairs of sunglasses, and a fancy makeup blush, all emblazoned with the girl’s name and the theme of the […]
Another Long Weekend With the Kids… Oh My!
Motherhood defies all expectations: The depth of love for our children, profound purpose, and connection with something larger than ourselves that comes with being a mom. The experience is fulfilling on so many levels, nameable and un-nameable. Let’s not restate what we know or even regale the deliciousness of mothering, much as I’d love to […]
Recovering From Mom Guilt: Dropping the Never-Enough Mom Story
“Mom guilt” is the feeling of not being a good enough mother. It can come in many forms: We’re not spending enough time with our child; we’re not patient, loving, fun, or interested enough in our children; we’re not offering our children the life, family, and opportunities that we should; and so on. The list of […]
Parenting 101: Love Is In the Details
Pam was crying tears of happiness and relief, but also sadness. The man she’d been dating for six months had asked, “How do you feel about what’s happening in the news, given what happened to you in middle school?” Her boyfriend had remembered a small detail about her, something she had mentioned in the first week of their […]
How to Not Burden Our Kids With Our Own Emotional Stuff
Being a good enough parent on a practical, task-based level is a bit like doing an iron-woman triathlon—daily. But the real triathlon of parenting is the work that goes into staying awake and aware of our own emotional “stuff” and not putting that on or leaking that into our relationship with our kids. I recently witnessed, yet again, how […]
A Woman’s Right to Have Needs: The Next Revolution
As women, we are raised to be accommodating. We’re rewarded for taking care of others, being generous and compassionate. We learn, through a whole system of subtle and not so subtle measures, to put other’s needs before our own. We learn to keep the peace, often at the expense of our own needs. We are […]
Am I Supposed to Be My Kid’s Friend?
I give frequent talks to parents on issues related to technology. After my presentations, parents ask for advice in managing their children’s behavior. I hear similar questions and worries everywhere I go, with slight variations depending on the population of my audience. However, I am nearly always met with one specific concern that comes in […]
The Invisible Mom: If You Feel Unappreciated as a Mom, You’re Not Alone
Being a mom is perhaps the most all-inclusive and demanding job in the history of “man”kind. It’s impossible to capture what running a family with school-age children entails these days, but here’s a very, very, very short list of Mom’s job… -Life management: schooling, homework, tutoring, forms, academic, athletic and social schedules, playdates, activities, camps, birthdays, health care, […]
Can I Let My Child Be Bored?
Perhaps the most common question I get in all my talks to parents and families around the country is What should I do when my kid says he’s bored and I don’t want to give him the device? Just this week, a mom told me that her son is always asking her What’s next? I’m bored, what should I […]
New Realities: Dealing With Digital Addiction
Are you the type of person who looks at their phone every 10 seconds? If you do Nancy Colier and her book The Power of Off has some wise words for you.