Must Our Kids Get a Suitcase of “Swag” After Every Party?
My daughter returned from a birthday party this past weekend carrying a bag monogrammed with the party girl’s name, and inside it, a pair of pajama shorts, pajama pants, sweatpants, two T-shirts, one zip-up sweatshirt, two pairs of sunglasses, and a fancy makeup blush, all emblazoned with the girl’s name and the theme of the […]
Learning to Live By What You Want Not What You Should Want
I was recently offered a “great” professional opportunity. A gig that just about anyone in my field would want. There was one problem, however: I didn’t want it. When I was originally offered the position I said “yes” immediately. It was, a “no-brainer” with all the accoutrements of success we’ve been taught to value and desire. “Wow” […]
Do I Have to Wear A Bikini to Be Empowered?
Eavesdropping on public transportation is one of my favorite pastimes. It’s also a great way to study our culture. I recently overheard two 20-something women talk about their summer plans. And, as luck would have it, the topic of conversation while I traveled with them happened to be bikinis. A snippet (from memory): While this may […]
GIRL POWER TALK
1. Can you share about your childhood experiences that have influenced your career path and shaped who you are today? I grew up in an intellectual family in New York City; the mind was the first thing I would go to for answers, which certainly took me far in life and continues to do so. […]
Guilty Moms: Letting Your Child Not Get What They Want
Pamela’s 14-year-old daughter is leaving for camp in two weeks. Pamela decided not to plan anything specific for the time, figuring her daughter could arrange dates with her friends and find things to do. Pamela sounds at ease with her decision and even proud of it. She touts the importance of teaching her daughter to […]
“I Don’t Want To” Is Enough Reason to Say No
I can remember the first time I did it. The “it” in this case was to say no to a dinner invitation I did not want to attend, but felt I should attend. But what made this no so momentous for me was the fact that it was also an event that I knew would be perfectly pleasant, and that I […]
What if You Are What You’ve Been Searching For?
One of my favorite stories is of a wild gazelle who, early in her life, smells a scent so magnificent that she spends her entire life searching for it, driven by the longing to re-experience its beauty. Many years later, as she lies dying, with her flank torn open by a hunter’s arrow, she’s engulfed in […]
Why Women Chase Perfection, Even Though It’s Killing Us
Women feel both outraged and powerless in response to the war being waged on our bodies, the coup for control over us. Women’s power is yet again being taken (or attempted to be taken). While this siege on women’s bodies is real and dangerous, in fact, the patriarchy has always controlled our bodies. Its narratives […]
Trauma is Not A Bad Date or Discontinued Starbucks Drink
A teenager recently told me she experienced “trauma” because a friend gave her a dirty look. I’ve heard other young people use the word “trauma” to describe not being invited to a party or a parent yelling at them for playing hooky or being asked to redo a school assignment. A demanding boss, a bad date, a […]
Ctrl Alt Depleted: Our Collective Tech Fatigue is Real
I pulled into the Dunkin’ Donuts off the highway, hoping to purchase some sugared treats so as to sedate my family’s traffic irritation. I headed in with a long list of orders, from my husband’s simple hot coffee to my daughter’s iced almond latte with 2 hazelnut pumps. Inside, families were gathered at two […]