You Have Permission to Like Yourself
Is there someone in your life who frequently critiques you and often points out what you’re doing or have done wrong…how you should improve? Is there someone close to you who gives you the feeling that maybe they don’t quite like you as you are? We all know people who seem to know how we […]
When You Use Food to Check Out on Feelings
Most of us have heard the term “freshman 15,” referring to the 15 pounds many college students put on in their first year away from home. But a similar phenomenon occurs for many adults over the wintertime. When we have to stay inside, we humans go through our own hibernation process, which often results in […]
Teen Suicide Rates Are Rising: How to Help Our Kids
Parenting teens in a difficult world requires listening and watching closely. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently reported a startling statistic on teen suicide: Emergency room visits for attempted suicide among teenage girls were up 51.6 percent in the first months of 2021, as compared to 2019. So, what’s going on? […]
How Did I End Up as the Default Parent?
Whose life gets canceled when the kids need help? KEY POINTS When a child needs something, often the assumption is that it will be Mom who stops what she’s doing and attends to them, rather than Dad. Stay-at-home moms feel guilty asking for help or participation from their working husbands. Women are often positioned […]
Why Chasing a Better Past Chases Away Your Life Now
A Personal Perspective: Letting go of your past is the beginning of possibility. I’ve been on countless spiritual retreats in my life: days, weekends, weeks, and ten-day stretches during which I sat in meditation listened to spiritual teachings and took long walks without distraction (other than my mind). I almost always come home from a retreat with a […]
When Jealousy Is More Than Just Jealousy
Assigning meaning to your partner’s behavior can get you into trouble. Ann was sobbing because her husband had “proven” that he considered her less important than other people; he valued and trusted others over her. On top of that, he had intentionally excluded her—because he didn’t think she really mattered. Ann spent the first […]
Why It’s So Hard to Be (Fully) Honest With Your Partner
Jill and her husband had attended a friend’s party, and Jill came home upset. Her husband’s friendliness—and what looked like flirtation—with another woman kept her awake all night, feeling hurt, angry, and threatened. She knew her husband loved her; she wasn’t worried that he would cheat. Still, the whole thing made her feel bad. She tried […]
We Weren’t Always As Good As We Are Now, So What?
Why there’s no shame in crawling before we walk. There’s something profoundly disturbing going on in our culture right now. Well, truth be told, there are a multitude of profoundly disturbing things going on. But at the center of our toxic culture is a rapidly metastasizing and malignant sense of entitlement—a righteousness. And specifically, the […]
Preparing Your Partner to Listen: The Simple Change in Behavior That Can Radically Change Your Relationship
Ava wanted to tell her husband about a troubling and upsetting argument she’d had with her sister. She wanted to process the experience; she wanted his understanding and empathy; she wanted to be heard. But when she tried to share her thoughts and feelings about the situation, her husband seemed irritated about having to listen. When […]
Keeping Your Life Simple, Even After the Pandemic is Over
Are you starting to feel anxious about the world opening up, about possibilities becoming possible again? We’re not there yet, but are you feeling a little nervous nonetheless, with maybe even a tinge of loss? For a lot of people, this phase of the pandemic is bringing with it a new and unexpected kind of stress. The anxiety that’s bubbling up right now is not about life closing […]