Tag Archives: listening

How Long Should You Wait For Your Partner to Commit?

Commitment is a topic that brings a lot of couples into therapy. The word has a single definition, but it holds infinite meanings. For many people, commitment includes an emotional acknowledgment of a we, in that we are with each other and choose to be part of a couple. And … Continue reading

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When We Need an Apology But Are Never Going to Get One

Why is it so hard for some people to say “I’m sorry”? It’s remarkable how difficult these two simple words can be to say out loud. I’ve been gifted with my share of never-sorry people over the years. I say gifted, because not getting the “I’m sorry” I’ve … Continue reading

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The Key to Intimacy is Radical Listening

The key to deep intimacy in relationship is listening, but listening in a radically new way. Most of us, when listening, are doing one of two things and sometimes both.  First, we are scanning for danger: is there something that … Continue reading

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When We Need Empathy From Our Partner, But Receive Judgment

The other morning, I overheard the following exchange. Besides breaking my heart, it reminded me of the profound possibilities that relationships offer—for connection and also for pain. The exchange: Woman: I am really struggling with this presentation.  I feel so burdened by it, … Continue reading

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You Can’t Change Someone Else But You Can Do This

So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. … Continue reading

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