Telling Your Truth Should Set You Free, Not Endanger You:
Busting the myths that keep you silent and afraid. In the last post, I promised to expose the cultural narratives that keep you silent, afraid, disempowered, and unknown, and also clarify what’s actually true. I’ll start by saying this: the stories you’ve been told about speaking your truth are utterly untrue. When you see through the […]
4 Myths About Speaking Your Truth That Aren’t True
You can be honest and discerning; authenticity should not sacrifice your safety. Speaking the truth—your truth—for many women can feel like an unwise and even dangerous choice. If you’ve grown up in this culture, you’ve likely been conditioned by strong narratives, storylines that have taught you how to think about authenticity in your relationships and saying what you […]
A Good Mother Can Be Human Too. Who Knew?
In the last installment of this series on guilt, I discussed the false and conditioned belief that we are guilty if someone else is uncomfortable or disappointed. I suggested a reframe, namely, to see guilt as an opportunity to become aware of and challenge the cultural narrative that sits behind your guilt and that your behavior […]
The Radical Choice: Saying ‘No’ to the Bad Mom Narrative (Part 2)
In part one of this series, I described an experience in which my daughter had accomplished something really big, and how I’d done a thousand and one things to support and celebrate her and honor her achievement. I also “confessed” that there was something I didn’t do—because I really didn’t want to. I had reached my limit […]
A Radical Choice for Moms: Saying “No” to Guilt
Women often feel guilty about… well, everything. From the moment we’re born, we learn how to feel guilty—not good enough. We’re guilty if anyone else is not happy, which means we’ve failed at our primary job—making other people happy. As mothers, we’re guilty… just because. The list of what we’ve done wrong, how we’ve failed […]
Finding Your North Star in Dark Times
How can we be well in a world that feels so desperately unwell? These days, I’m asked this question all the time. Where do we find ground in a world that seems to be on a downward spiral at warp speed, nosediving into what feels like a groundless bottom? And furthermore, how do we create […]
The Startlingly Simple Way to Not Feel Lonely
Learn the easiest way to be a really good friend. Loneliness is our society’s biggest mental health challenge; it’s an epidemic. People across every age group describe feeling disconnected and alone, missing a sense of community and deep friendships. Our reliance on technology, the fact that we spend our days interacting with screens and talking to […]
What Wags Your Tail?
How to open the door to what you really want Women have a complicated relationship with the word and feeling of “want.” For so many women, it’s hard to allow “wanting” a seat at our inner table. We replace “want” with “should”—do what we think we should do, become who we think we should be. And we’re very good […]
Graduation Madness: Celebrating As a Competitive Sport
I talked with three moms this week, each of whom has a child graduating, two from college and one from high school. Each described themselves as cracking up from the demands of properly celebrating their graduates. While from different parts of the country, each mom was down the same rabbit hole, caught in the frenzied madness of […]
I Did It “For You”: Navigating the Martyr
The dynamics and consequences of relationships based on self-sacrifice. Source: Karolina Grabowska/Unsplash Has someone ever told you that they did something that they didn’t want to do, something that prevented them from getting what they needed, but did it so that you could get what you needed? It’s a common and often celebrated claim, sacrificing one’s own wants and […]