How to Stop Proving You’re Right (Even When You Are) – Part 2
Using the need to be right to change and grow. As I discussed in the first part of this series, we’re raised to believe there’s one reality, one right version of what is, while in fact, there are 8.2 billion realities, different versions of what happened, what is, being lived simultaneously on this one planet. None of which […]
Are You Living the Menu Not the Meal?
Telling ourselves about our life is not the same as living it. I was on a jeep tour through the desert dunes in a foreign land. There were four of us in the vehicle. It was a magnificent morning, with the sun just coming up. The landscape was vast and also foreign, totally unknown. It […]
The Fight to Be Right: What Are You Fighting For?
Understanding why you need to be right is the beginning of letting it go. This is the first post in a series. Every week, couples want me to play referee in their relationships. Their hope is that I will decide which one of them is “right,” to make the official call on whose version of […]
How to Unstick Your Mind From Negative Thoughts – Part 2
Source: Igor Omilaev/Unsplash This part 2 of a two-part post. Click here to read part 1. Have you ever noticed that you’re caught in a thought loop, ruminating on something you’ve ruminated on a thousand times before? And yet, even knowing that you’re caught, you still can’t get out—you can’t stop thinking the same thoughts? Just […]
Unsticking Your Mind From Negative Thought Loops
Most people have some negative self-story lurking in the shadows of their consciousness, something they believe or fear is true about themselves—something bad. Usually, these negative self-stories start in childhood, when we were told this or that about ourselves by a parent, religion, coach, or some other trusted “caretaker.” It might be that you’re lazy, selfish, unlovable, or just plain bad, with […]
Must Our Kids Get a Suitcase of “Swag” After Every Party?
My daughter returned from a birthday party this past weekend carrying a bag monogrammed with the party girl’s name, and inside it, a pair of pajama shorts, pajama pants, sweatpants, two T-shirts, one zip-up sweatshirt, two pairs of sunglasses, and a fancy makeup blush, all emblazoned with the girl’s name and the theme of the […]
Learning to Live By What You Want Not What You Should Want
I was recently offered a “great” professional opportunity. A gig that just about anyone in my field would want. There was one problem, however: I didn’t want it. When I was originally offered the position I said “yes” immediately. It was, a “no-brainer” with all the accoutrements of success we’ve been taught to value and desire. “Wow” […]
Do I Have to Wear A Bikini to Be Empowered?
Eavesdropping on public transportation is one of my favorite pastimes. It’s also a great way to study our culture. I recently overheard two 20-something women talk about their summer plans. And, as luck would have it, the topic of conversation while I traveled with them happened to be bikinis. A snippet (from memory): While this may […]
GIRL POWER TALK
1. Can you share about your childhood experiences that have influenced your career path and shaped who you are today? I grew up in an intellectual family in New York City; the mind was the first thing I would go to for answers, which certainly took me far in life and continues to do so. […]
Guilty Moms: Letting Your Child Not Get What They Want
Pamela’s 14-year-old daughter is leaving for camp in two weeks. Pamela decided not to plan anything specific for the time, figuring her daughter could arrange dates with her friends and find things to do. Pamela sounds at ease with her decision and even proud of it. She touts the importance of teaching her daughter to […]