The Radical Choice: Saying ‘No’ to the Bad Mom Narrative (Part 2)
In part one of this series, I described an experience in which my daughter had accomplished something really big, and how I’d done a thousand and one things to support and celebrate her and honor her achievement. I also “confessed” that there was something I didn’t do—because I really didn’t want to. I had reached my limit […]
A Radical Choice for Moms: Saying “No” to Guilt
Women often feel guilty about… well, everything. From the moment we’re born, we learn how to feel guilty—not good enough. We’re guilty if anyone else is not happy, which means we’ve failed at our primary job—making other people happy. As mothers, we’re guilty… just because. The list of what we’ve done wrong, how we’ve failed […]
Finding Your North Star in Dark Times
How can we be well in a world that feels so desperately unwell? These days, I’m asked this question all the time. Where do we find ground in a world that seems to be on a downward spiral at warp speed, nosediving into what feels like a groundless bottom? And furthermore, how do we create […]
The Startlingly Simple Way to Not Feel Lonely
Learn the easiest way to be a really good friend. Loneliness is our society’s biggest mental health challenge; it’s an epidemic. People across every age group describe feeling disconnected and alone, missing a sense of community and deep friendships. Our reliance on technology, the fact that we spend our days interacting with screens and talking to […]
What Wags Your Tail?
How to open the door to what you really want Women have a complicated relationship with the word and feeling of “want.” For so many women, it’s hard to allow “wanting” a seat at our inner table. We replace “want” with “should”—do what we think we should do, become who we think we should be. And we’re very good […]
Graduation Madness: Celebrating As a Competitive Sport
I talked with three moms this week, each of whom has a child graduating, two from college and one from high school. Each described themselves as cracking up from the demands of properly celebrating their graduates. While from different parts of the country, each mom was down the same rabbit hole, caught in the frenzied madness of […]
I Did It “For You”: Navigating the Martyr
The dynamics and consequences of relationships based on self-sacrifice. Source: Karolina Grabowska/Unsplash Has someone ever told you that they did something that they didn’t want to do, something that prevented them from getting what they needed, but did it so that you could get what you needed? It’s a common and often celebrated claim, sacrificing one’s own wants and […]
What Stories Are You Telling Yourself Inside Your Head?
What’s the story you’re telling yourself inside your head—the story of your life, and about yourself? Have you ever noticed that your mind is busy creating a narrative version of your life from the moment you get up in the morning to the moment you go to sleep—creating a thread-line between events, a cause and […]
When Worry Keeps You Up at Night
Do you ever catch yourself thinking in the middle of the night, ruminating about situations that are unresolved or unclear and, basically, not how you’d like them to be? We do this kind of ruminating during the day as well, for sure, but it’s particularly prevalent at times when we’re trying to rest. We obsess […]
How to Stay Calm in Worrying Times
Because the world seems scary, doesn’t mean we have to live in fear. We’re living in anxious times. Many people are concerned and frightened about what’s happening in our country and the world, not to mention the climate, human rights, technology, and everything else. It feels like so much of what we once relied on […]