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Nancy Colier

The Likability Cage: Open the Door and Step Out!

As soon as we can hold up our little-girl heads, those heads start getting filled up with ideas on how to be a good girl. Nice, helpful, selfless, generous, available, caring, generous, self-sacrificing—we learn quickly that it’s best to have no needs of our own; the better we are at having no needs, in fact, the […]

What Do You Want? Do You Ever Ask Yourself?

I was in my twenties and had rented a beach house with a friend for the holiday weekend. When we arose Saturday morning, I had a list a page long of things to do in the area, things we should do to make full use of our time in a great location on a long summer weekend. […]

AI or Happiness: Which will we choose?

Why are we staking our future on artificial intelligence when the downsides of doing so are obvious and profound, and potentially irreversible? We’re at a fork in the road of human history; we can continue following the current path toward greater and deeper technological reliance, and surrendering to the consequences of that choice. Or, we can decide […]

Why It’s So Exhausting to Be the One Everyone Counts On

Are you tired of being the one everyone counts on, who can do it all, seemingly without needing anything for yourself? Are you exhausted from giving to everyone and everything? Here, in Part 3 of this series, I offer some steps you can take to break the over-giving habit and reclaim your vitality. In short, how […]

Spiritual Beings on a Human Journey: Remembering Our Stardust

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” Most of us have heard these words from the French philosopher, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. And for most of us, there is something about this idea that resonates at a very primordial level. Something in us knows, deep […]

Curiosity: The Greatest Gift We Can Give Our Partners

When we think of virtues, we usually think of the classics: wisdom, compassion, humility, patience, fortitude, courage, kindness, gratitude, and the like. But there are a number of underrated, less-discussed virtues that are vitally important in creating a good life. One that rarely makes the top-ten lists is curiosity. When it comes to virtues, curiosity gets short […]

When Over-Giving Is Depleting You: How to Stop (Part 4)

Here, I will lay out some of the deeper beliefs at the root of over-giving, and what is really an unwillingness to give to yourself in the same way you give to other people. For most over-givers, underneath it all, there’s a reluctance to admit the un-admittable, namely, that you’re human and not, as you […]

Are You Exhausted From Being the One Everyone Can Count On? (Part 3)

Are you tired of being the one everyone counts on, who can do it all, seemingly without needing anything for yourself? Are you exhausted from giving to everyone and everything? Here, in Part 3 of this series, I offer some steps you can take to break the over-giving habit and reclaim your vitality. In short, how […]

Overwhelmed and Exhausted? How to Stop Giving Too Much (Part 2)

In Part 1 of this series, I addressed reasons you might be over-giving, taking care of too many people and too many things—to the point of exhaustion. In this next part, I want to suggest a path toward recovery (from the over-giving habit), and ways to take charge of your own time and energy. How do you […]

When We Need An Apology But Are Never Going to Get One

Why is it so hard for some people to say “I’m sorry”? It’s remarkable how difficult these two simple words can be to say out loud. I’ve been gifted with my share of never-sorry people over the years. I say gifted, because not getting the “I’m sorry” I’ve craved and (I thought) deserved has forced me to investigate the psychology […]