How to Be More Honest and Less Afraid of the Truth
Part 6 in a series. In the last article, I discussed the deep-seated fears associated with telling the truth and why disruption and potential loss of connection in a relationship can feel like death. And furthermore, why these fears are so deep in our wiring; why our nervous system goes on high alert at the idea of […]
Why Speaking the Truth Feels Like a Threat to Your Survival
How to be honest in a way that respects your fear, and your reality. This post is part five in a series. In the last article, I introduced stage two of “truthing,” the process of learning to speak your truth out loud. In this stage, your mind often “knows” that you’ll be okay if you’re […]
Being Honest in Your Relationship Can Feel Too Risky to Dare
In a previous article, I introduced you to Deb, a woman who was fully aware of her truth, how unhappy she was, and what didn’t work for her in her marriage, but was too afraid to share it with her husband. Deb was smack in the middle of stage two of the “truthing” process, the stage when your […]
Telling the Truth: Will You Survive It? Part 3
Deb is not her real name, but her story is very real for many women. It’s a story I would only write with her permission, and one that I’m hoping will help liberate you from whatever shame and self-judgment you feel when it comes to the state of your relationship and your choice to speak your truth—or […]
Telling Your Truth Should Set You Free, Not Endanger You, Part 2
Busting the myths that keep you silent and afraid. In the last post, I promised to expose the cultural narratives that keep you silent, afraid, disempowered, and unknown, and also clarify what’s actually true. I’ll start by saying this: the stories you’ve been told about speaking your truth are utterly untrue. When you see through the […]
4 Myths About Speaking Your Truth That Aren’t True
You can be honest and discerning; authenticity should not sacrifice your safety. Speaking the truth—your truth—for many women can feel like an unwise and even dangerous choice. If you’ve grown up in this culture, you’ve likely been conditioned by strong narratives, storylines that have taught you how to think about authenticity in your relationships and saying what you […]
A Good Mother Can Be Human Too. Who Knew?
In the last installment of this series on guilt, I discussed the false and conditioned belief that we are guilty if someone else is uncomfortable or disappointed. I suggested a reframe, namely, to see guilt as an opportunity to become aware of and challenge the cultural narrative that sits behind your guilt and that your behavior […]
The Radical Choice: Saying ‘No’ to the Bad Mom Narrative (Part 2)
In part one of this series, I described an experience in which my daughter had accomplished something really big, and how I’d done a thousand and one things to support and celebrate her and honor her achievement. I also “confessed” that there was something I didn’t do—because I really didn’t want to. I had reached my limit […]
A Radical Choice for Moms: Saying “No” to Guilt
Women often feel guilty about… well, everything. From the moment we’re born, we learn how to feel guilty—not good enough. We’re guilty if anyone else is not happy, which means we’ve failed at our primary job—making other people happy. As mothers, we’re guilty… just because. The list of what we’ve done wrong, how we’ve failed […]
Finding Your North Star in Dark Times
How can we be well in a world that feels so desperately unwell? These days, I’m asked this question all the time. Where do we find ground in a world that seems to be on a downward spiral at warp speed, nosediving into what feels like a groundless bottom? And furthermore, how do we create […]