When the Truth Sets You Free
For years, I’ve had an ongoing conflict with a family member. It’s a conflict that I think many of us can identify with. The issue, in a nutshell, is that this other person believes that I should be providing something for her that (she believes) I am not providing. And, she believes that not providing this for her […]
“Just Let It Go” But What Does That Mean and How Do You Do It?
What does let it go mean? I’ve always wondered. I’ve also always had a slight aversion to anyone telling me or anyone else to do it. Truth is, I don’t completely understand what letting it go actually is or what it entails. I spent some time with a couple of friends this weekend and one was sharing something deeply upsetting […]
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real: When Our Thoughts Scare Us
I took a deep dive into fear this month. Over this past year, someone I lovedearly, a close family member, has been experiencing a physical symptom. We’ve been unable to get to the bottom of it; the doctors have not been particularly concerned and so we’ve resorted to just managing the symptom best we can. I haven’t been particularly worried, assuming it was just one of […]
Can We Learn to Want What We Have?
Thanksgiving is a day of thanks and giving, as the name implies. It’s a day we set aside to feel and express gratitude for all that we have, to slow down and nourish ourselves with what really fills our bucket. We focus on what’s good, what we love—our blessings. We fill and fulfill ourselves with good food, good […]
Because Our Thoughts Make Sense Doesn’t Mean They’re True
Trying to find peace with the mind is like trying to open a lock with a banana… Carol came to see me with a serious agenda. She and her husband had had a disagreement the evening before our session and Carol wanted to explain to me why her husband had said what upset her, and […]
A Woman’s Right to Have Needs: The Next Revolution
As women, we are raised to be accommodating. We’re rewarded for taking care of others, being generous and compassionate. We learn, through a whole system of subtle and not so subtle measures, to put other’s needs before our own. We learn to keep the peace, often at the expense of our own needs. We are […]
Am I Supposed to Be My Kid’s Friend?
I give frequent talks to parents on issues related to technology. After my presentations, parents ask for advice in managing their children’s behavior. I hear similar questions and worries everywhere I go, with slight variations depending on the population of my audience. However, I am nearly always met with one specific concern that comes in […]
Do You Need “Amazing” Experiences to Feel Alive?
Experience is the new it thing. We’re experience junkies, chasing experiences like storm chasers chase tornados. Walk into any shop and it’s all about the experience—free water, espresso, salespeople that like you, home-baked cookies, in-store entertainment, shoulder rubs, and the list goes on. On social media, it’s all about posting photos of ourselves having amazing and of […]
Mindful Speech: Using Your Words to Help Not Harm
When we want our kids to express themselves in ways other than tantrumming or throwing peas at the dog, we say “Use your words.” But I often wonder, do adults really know how to use our words skillfully, in ways that help and don’t harm? This morning I was on a train listening to a mother […]
How Thoughts Get in the Way of Being Present
If just one word were to go in a time capsule to represent our society right now, the word would have to be “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is in every book title, workshop, conversation, idea, and everything else we now encounter. We’re a society obsessed with mindfulness. So what is this thing we’re all talking about and presumably trying to create? And […]