Are You On Your Own Side? How to Take Good Care of Yourself From the Inside Out
Have you ever wondered why we’re so bad at self-care, why taking care of ourselves is so difficult for us human beings, and not simply inborn? Every week, another book comes out on how to take better care of ourselves. So why are we not getting it? For one thing, our self-care approach in this culture is […]
Are You Friends With Yourself?
Self-Care is an Inside Job Have you ever wondered why we’re so bad at self-care, why taking care of ourselves is so difficult for us human beings, and not simply inborn? Every week, another book comes out on how to take better care of ourselves. So why are we not getting it? For one thing, our self-care […]
How to Be Kind to Ourselves Through the Holiday Season
The holidays arrive each year with an abundance of expectations. We’re expected to be having fun and feeling joy, to be surrounded by loved ones and a warm, connected family to which we effortlessly belong. We’re expected to be busy and enjoying all sorts of exciting and festive activities, doing special holiday things. In short, we’re expected […]
When We Need an Apology But Are Never Going to Get One
Why is it so hard for some people to say “I’m sorry”? It’s remarkable how difficult these two simple words can be to say out loud. I’ve been gifted with my share of never-sorry people over the years. I say gifted, because not getting the “I’m sorry” I’ve craved and (I thought) deserved has forced me to investigate the psychology of apologies, as well […]
Can a Relationship Recover From Resentment?
As a relationship-oriented therapist, I am often asked “What’s the biggest problem couples face?” The easy answers are money and sex, but neither would be exactly true or at least not what has walked into my office or my life. The most common problem I see in intimate partnerships is what I call, t Paula […]
When We Shame Ourselves: How to Unhook from Self-Shaming Thoughts
For many (dare I say most) people, spending time with parents can unleash some pretty strong emotions. No matter how grown up we are, our original family can put us in touch with deep hurts, primal longings, unmet needs… a tsunami of feelings. If we want to challenge every ounce of peace, wellbeing, compassion, wisdom and strength […]
How to Quiet the Little Voice in Your Head: Reclaiming Your Life From Your Inner Narrator
Did you ever notice the little voice inside your head that’s constantly running the play by play of your life—to you, the one who’s living it. Did you ever listen in to your inner narrator, the one who’s unceasingly packaging your life, verbally preparing your experience for transmission to another unidentified listener? I just went […]
The One Decision That Will Radically Improve Your Family Life
If you’re a mom then I’m certain you know the experience of telling your child to do something and getting no response, and then telling your child to do it again and getting no response, and then telling your child once again and getting no response, and then becoming frustrated and possibly raising your voice, and […]
Why Happiness Doesn’t Last, and Why That’s Okay–Part 1
Happiness is an addiction and we are hooked. Happiness is an addiction because our monkey mind convinces us that we are not okay if we don’t get our fix of it. It is an addiction because it provides relief for short periods of time and then fails us over and over again. It is an addiction because we […]
Should I Answer Every Text My Child Sends? How Constant Communication is Disabling Our Children
I spend a lot of time with teenagers, because I have one. As an observer of this unique species, I am noticing that teenagers are changing in fundamental ways as a result of their relationship with technology. Teenagers are frequently out and about in the world on their own and with their peers, particularly in […]