Pokemon, No? Putting Down Our Phones to Meet the Real World
Two men fell off a cliff in California playing “Pokemon Go,” apparently, trying to catch characters in the virtual game. And, I suppose, trying to gain the bragging rights that come with such a catch. It would be easy to chalk this up to a “Pokemon” issue, the distraction of the moment, but it would also be […]
Can We Get Addicted to Disappointment?
Most all of us are disappointed and hurt by our parents, from time to time. It’s just part of being a human. But for some, t’s not just from time to time, it’s pretty much all the time. When the disappointment and hurt is so consistent and painful, we can build a core belief that we will always be disappointed and […]
When We Need Empathy From Our Partner, But Receive Judgment
The other morning, I overheard the following exchange. Besides breaking my heart, it reminded me of the profound possibilities that relationships offer—for connection and also for pain. The exchange: Woman: I am really struggling with this presentation. I feel so burdened by it, like I have to cover every topic, and there are too many and I don’t […]
Is Virtual Relationship Sexier Than Real Life Relationship?
Can we ever be as cool in real life as we are on text? We all know that teenagers text—a lot. But as the mother of a teenager, I am sometimes shocked by how much a lot can be, and more to the point, the impact that all this texting, virtual relating, is having on our children’s real […]
Why We Get Caught in Power Struggles, and How to Let Them Go
This morning I had a fight with a 5-year-old, my 5-year old. I decided to write about it because the resolution felt important to me, and a great reminder for all of us who don’t live in caves and thus participate in human relationships of any kind. The fight: my daughter appears at the breakfast table, […]
Why Surrender is So Powerful, and How to Experience It?
Surrender is at the heart of all spiritual practice; no path is more powerful or profound. But what does it mean to surrender? And what does it not mean? Surrender is too often misunderstood, boiled down to a few affirmations about “letting go,” and then misused as a self-help instruction. But, in our misunderstanding, in our trying to do surrender with […]
When “Posting” Your Life is More Important Than Living It
On a recent visit to the Museum of Modern Art with a friend and her daughter, meandering through the museum’s exhibits, I was struck by how often my friend’s 13-year-old daughter asked us to take photos of her (on her Smartphone) in front of the artwork. Her head tilted, she gazed contemplatively at the pieces, the […]
You Can’t Change Someone Else But You Can Do This
So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set […]
4 Steps to Stop Blaming
This is the third blog in a series on blame. I wrote the first two blogs to help those who feel consistently blamed, while this installment is for those who do the blaming. It was not my original intention to write a piece for blamers, but I was inundated with (and inspired by) emails from readers who self-identified as […]
How to Feel Better and Trust Life: The Practice of Surrender
When confronted with difficult feelings, or any feelings really, my tendency is to want to figure out how the feelings will serve as my teachers, make me more aware and help me grow as a human being. That, I guess you could say, is my way of keeping feelings at a safe distance and under the control of my mind. Some […]