You Can’t Change Someone Else But You Can Do This
So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set […]
4 Steps to Stop Blaming
This is the third blog in a series on blame. I wrote the first two blogs to help those who feel consistently blamed, while this installment is for those who do the blaming. It was not my original intention to write a piece for blamers, but I was inundated with (and inspired by) emails from readers who self-identified as […]
How to Feel Better and Trust Life: The Practice of Surrender
When confronted with difficult feelings, or any feelings really, my tendency is to want to figure out how the feelings will serve as my teachers, make me more aware and help me grow as a human being. That, I guess you could say, is my way of keeping feelings at a safe distance and under the control of my mind. Some […]
When Is It Time to Stop Trying to Fix Ourselves?
Are you a self-help junkie? Even if you don’t have a stack of books on your bedside table detailing the newest ways to fix yourself, you still might be. And it wouldn’t be your fault if you were. Our conditioning from a very young age is to believe that we need to become better, new and improved versions of ourselves, even […]
Meditation: Coming Home to Your Heart
This is a meditation to help you remember where home is. You are always here, in your heart, closer than a breath away. Your heart is always awaiting your presence, awaiting your attention, awaiting you. Know that your refuge is always available to and inside you. Come home to you.
Last-Minute-Itis: The Behavior Plague of Our Time
There is a technological plague afflicting our society. The scourge is called “Last-Minute-Itis.” To find out if you suffer from the disease, consult the following list of most common symptoms: -Frequently texting friends at the last minute to cancel plans, often once the friend has already reached the scheduled location. -Frequently cancelling plans with friends […]
Are You A Blamer? How to Break the Blaming Habit.
This is the third blog in a series on the topic of blame. The first two blogs were written to help those who feel consistently blamed while this installment in for those who do the blaming. It was not my original intention to write a piece for blamers, but I was inundated with (and inspired […]
What to Do About the People Who Blame You for Everything
My recent post: “When You’re In Relationship With A Blamer,” inspired overwhelming feedback, both from people who feel they receive blame and those who think they’re blamers. (Encouragingly, many blamers expressed the desire to change their blaming habits.) The questions I raised included: How do we proceed when someone that matters to us assigns us negative intentions that […]
When You’re In Relationship With a Blamer
There is no better time for growing than the holiday season. And not just growing in the belly, but in the heart and mind as well. Family interactions, particularly those that go on over a period of consecutive days, offer profound opportunities for self-awareness, learning, and evolution. Our greatest challenges are our greatest teachers, and they often […]
Who’s In Charge, Computers or Humans?
Something remarkable happened yesterday, not remarkable good but remarkable crazy. I was riding in one of the new group taxis that have taken over New York City, and we were traveling from midtown West to midtown East. I was the next to be dropped off and there were umpteen routes that we could take to […]