“I Don’t Want To” Is Enough Reason to Say No
I can remember the first time I did it. The “it” in this case was to say no to a dinner invitation I did not want to attend, but felt I should attend. But what made this no so momentous for me was the fact that it was also an event that I knew would be perfectly pleasant, and that I […]
What if You Are What You’ve Been Searching For?
One of my favorite stories is of a wild gazelle who, early in her life, smells a scent so magnificent that she spends her entire life searching for it, driven by the longing to re-experience its beauty. Many years later, as she lies dying, with her flank torn open by a hunter’s arrow, she’s engulfed in […]
Why Women Chase Perfection, Even Though It’s Killing Us
Women feel both outraged and powerless in response to the war being waged on our bodies, the coup for control over us. Women’s power is yet again being taken (or attempted to be taken). While this siege on women’s bodies is real and dangerous, in fact, the patriarchy has always controlled our bodies. Its narratives […]
Trauma is Not A Bad Date or Discontinued Starbucks Drink
A teenager recently told me she experienced “trauma” because a friend gave her a dirty look. I’ve heard other young people use the word “trauma” to describe not being invited to a party or a parent yelling at them for playing hooky or being asked to redo a school assignment. A demanding boss, a bad date, a […]
Ctrl Alt Depleted: Our Collective Tech Fatigue is Real
I pulled into the Dunkin’ Donuts off the highway, hoping to purchase some sugared treats so as to sedate my family’s traffic irritation. I headed in with a long list of orders, from my husband’s simple hot coffee to my daughter’s iced almond latte with 2 hazelnut pumps. Inside, families were gathered at two […]
Another Long Weekend With the Kids… Oh My!
Motherhood defies all expectations: The depth of love for our children, profound purpose, and connection with something larger than ourselves that comes with being a mom. The experience is fulfilling on so many levels, nameable and un-nameable. Let’s not restate what we know or even regale the deliciousness of mothering, much as I’d love to […]
Being in Relationship Without Abandoning Yourself
In part 1 of this series, I addressed the challenges women face in acknowledging (and living from) what we want and don’t want. How it can feel positively revolutionary to do something simply because we want to, and not do something because we don’t want to. Something so basic and yet so powerful, to consider our wants and don’t-wants, […]
The Likability Cage: Open the Door and Step Out!
As soon as we can hold up our little-girl heads, those heads start getting filled up with ideas on how to be a good girl. Nice, helpful, selfless, generous, available, caring, generous, self-sacrificing—we learn quickly that it’s best to have no needs of our own; the better we are at having no needs, in fact, the […]
What Do You Want? Do You Ever Ask Yourself?
I was in my twenties and had rented a beach house with a friend for the holiday weekend. When we arose Saturday morning, I had a list a page long of things to do in the area, things we should do to make full use of our time in a great location on a long summer weekend. […]
AI or Happiness: Which will we choose?
Why are we staking our future on artificial intelligence when the downsides of doing so are obvious and profound, and potentially irreversible? We’re at a fork in the road of human history; we can continue following the current path toward greater and deeper technological reliance, and surrendering to the consequences of that choice. Or, we can decide […]