How to Stop Being Defensive… Learning to Listen From Love Not Fear
Most of us are defensive in close relationships. If we’re not, we have to interact with people who are. It is the relational disease of our culture and the one that imprisons and destroys intimacy, and prevents love and connection between partners and friends. Why are we so defensive and what are we so afraid […]
Why Our Thoughts Are Not Real
Did you ever realize that everything going on in your mind, every thought, feeling, sensation, everything you are aware of, is in fact happening only in your private internal world? Your thoughts appear only to you, and are not being heard by anyone else whatsoever. There is one physical world here on earth, but billions […]
The Secret to Meaningful Relationships: Be Willing to Be Uncomfortable
Technology has not only changed the ways in which we communicate with each other but perhaps more importantly the degree to which we value each other. For many people, the primary form of communicating these days is via text. Short bits and bobs on life: nuts and bolts, quips and banter. When you run out […]
Prescription for Happiness: Living WithOUT Intention
We are a culture of doers. “What can I do?” “What should I do?” And the double do… “What do I do?” We are conditioned to believe that we need to do something to be happy and really, just to be okay. We need to do something in order to get the something or someone […]
The Most Important Question Of All: How Can I Help?
Something amazing happened to me. It was a very small event, but an event that is disappearing from our world, growing extinct. Because of how much it moved and surprised me, I find that I can’t stop thinking about it. And so, I write this blog today to honor a practice that is now the […]
How to Know When to Listen to Fear and When to Push Through It.
Fear. Everyone experiences it. It is the most basic human emotion, a function of our reptilian brain. It is there to alert us when we are in danger — to keep us safe. Sometimes, however, fear gets in our way. While instinctively there to protect us, fear can sometimes tell us that it is not […]
Why We Should Tell the Truth (Even When It’s Risky!)
I recently wrote a blog post about the importance of asking our good friends for what we really need. I received a lot of feedback, most of it expressing gratitude for being given permission to need and ask for a certain kind of undistracted attention from good friends. Many people identified with the feelings of […]
Our Phones Are Getting Smarter But Are We Getting Dumber?
Nearly 100 years ago, Albert Einstein wrote the following: “I fear the day when technology will surpass our human interaction. We will have a generation of idiots.” As anyone who knows my blog knows, I also worry about what technology is doing to us as a species. And lately, I worry specifically about how our […]
Breaking Free from the Tyranny of Thought: Stop Feeding Your Mind and it Will Stop Biting You
Anyone who has ever practiced mindfulness knows that there is something akin to a wild animal living inside each of us. We call that wild animal “mind.” If you stop for just a minute, right now, and pay attention to what your mind is telling you, I am certain that you will hear all sorts […]
Stop ‘Shoulding’ All over Yourself: How to Break Free from ‘Should’ and Discover ‘Want!’
Are you “shoulding” yourself to death? All day, every day, are you telling yourself what you “should” do? Have you forgotten what you even “want”? If you are like most people, the answer is “yes.” The “Should” List Best-Sellers You should be grateful to be alive You should forgive You should be compassionate You should […]