How to Know When to Listen to Fear and When to Push Through It.
Fear. Everyone experiences it. It is the most basic human emotion, a function of our reptilian brain. It is there to alert us when we are in danger — to keep us safe. Sometimes, however, fear gets in our way. While instinctively there to protect us, fear can sometimes tell us that it is not […]
Why We Should Tell the Truth (Even When It’s Risky!)
I recently wrote a blog post about the importance of asking our good friends for what we really need. I received a lot of feedback, most of it expressing gratitude for being given permission to need and ask for a certain kind of undistracted attention from good friends. Many people identified with the feelings of […]
Our Phones Are Getting Smarter But Are We Getting Dumber?
Nearly 100 years ago, Albert Einstein wrote the following: “I fear the day when technology will surpass our human interaction. We will have a generation of idiots.” As anyone who knows my blog knows, I also worry about what technology is doing to us as a species. And lately, I worry specifically about how our […]
Breaking Free from the Tyranny of Thought: Stop Feeding Your Mind and it Will Stop Biting You
Anyone who has ever practiced mindfulness knows that there is something akin to a wild animal living inside each of us. We call that wild animal “mind.” If you stop for just a minute, right now, and pay attention to what your mind is telling you, I am certain that you will hear all sorts […]
Stop ‘Shoulding’ All over Yourself: How to Break Free from ‘Should’ and Discover ‘Want!’
Are you “shoulding” yourself to death? All day, every day, are you telling yourself what you “should” do? Have you forgotten what you even “want”? If you are like most people, the answer is “yes.” The “Should” List Best-Sellers You should be grateful to be alive You should forgive You should be compassionate You should […]
When Old Friends Stop Being Good Friends
Friendships change, and not always for the better. Sometimes we find that a friend with whom we have had a long and important relationship is no longer someone that we particularly like or enjoy being around. Perhaps the friend has changed and become someone different or perhaps we have changed, and what used to work […]
Letting Go of Toxic People: When Staying In It is NOT More Spiritual
We all have people in our lives who have profoundly harmed us. Sometimes the situation with the other person has changed. You may have forgiven them and they may even have taken ownership and expressed remorse for their harmful actions. Other times, the same harmful behavior goes on with no change or responsibility. To your […]
Finding Permanence in a Pixelated World
Last week, I went to Friday night services at synagogue. Immediately following, and all week in fact, I have been aware of feeling profoundly human, grounded and well — a part of something much larger than just myself. As is customary, the evening included singing, meditation and a talk by the rabbi. The topic of […]
Why We Are Addicted to Checking Email… and How to Get Your Life Back
I check email more often than I should, and more often than I enjoy. I am not alone in this. I have clients and friends who check their email up to 100 times per day. Some, even more. Given the amount of pleasure that email actually delivers, it seems that the urge to check it […]
Why We Should Be Grateful For What We DON’T Get: Harvesting the power of absence.
Every year, I attend the last church service of the year. At the end of December, the minister asks us to write down all the things we want for the coming year. We then draft a letter to ourselves that we will receive a year later (sent back to us by the church), in which […]