How to Overcome Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship
Most of us feel insecure in relationship from time to time. But for some, it’s a chronic condition that never subsides. Insecurity in a relationship prevents us from speaking our truth, being genuine and honest with our partner and ourselves, and expressing what we really need and want. When we don’t trust the relationship, we […]
Your Best Self in a Virtual World
“The Power of Off: Your Best Self in a Virtual World,” the new article in Best Self Magazine, based on my upcoming book, The Power of Off. Eight years ago, as a Facebook newbie, I read a post in which my good friend announced that she had gotten up for an early bike ride and […]
Is Technology Feeding Our Inner Reptile?
This presidential election is nasty. Perhaps elections have always been so, but there has definitely been an uptick in the nastiness considered acceptable in the campaign process. Indeed, there has been a nastification of our entire society. Perhaps because I write a lot about technology, someone recently asked me if I think technology is somehow causing this increase in the verbal violence and overall bad […]
Pokemon, No? Putting Down Our Phones to Meet the Real World
Two men fell off a cliff in California playing “Pokemon Go,” apparently, trying to catch characters in the virtual game. And, I suppose, trying to gain the bragging rights that come with such a catch. It would be easy to chalk this up to a “Pokemon” issue, the distraction of the moment, but it would also be […]
Can We Get Addicted to Disappointment?
Most all of us are disappointed and hurt by our parents, from time to time. It’s just part of being a human. But for some, t’s not just from time to time, it’s pretty much all the time. When the disappointment and hurt is so consistent and painful, we can build a core belief that we will always be disappointed and […]
Why We Get Caught in Power Struggles, and How to Let Them Go
This morning I had a fight with a 5-year-old, my 5-year old. I decided to write about it because the resolution felt important to me, and a great reminder for all of us who don’t live in caves and thus participate in human relationships of any kind. The fight: my daughter appears at the breakfast table, […]
Why Surrender is So Powerful, and How to Experience It?
Surrender is at the heart of all spiritual practice; no path is more powerful or profound. But what does it mean to surrender? And what does it not mean? Surrender is too often misunderstood, boiled down to a few affirmations about “letting go,” and then misused as a self-help instruction. But, in our misunderstanding, in our trying to do surrender with […]
When “Posting” Your Life is More Important Than Living It
On a recent visit to the Museum of Modern Art with a friend and her daughter, meandering through the museum’s exhibits, I was struck by how often my friend’s 13-year-old daughter asked us to take photos of her (on her Smartphone) in front of the artwork. Her head tilted, she gazed contemplatively at the pieces, the […]
You Can’t Change Someone Else But You Can Do This
So many things bother us—people, mostly. But pretty much everything has the power to upset our basic sense of well-being. Our tendency, when things bother us, is to blame the other person or situation for getting it wrong and thus causing our suffering. Once we have identified what we consider the cause of our disturbance, we usually set […]
4 Steps to Stop Blaming
This is the third blog in a series on blame. I wrote the first two blogs to help those who feel consistently blamed, while this installment is for those who do the blaming. It was not my original intention to write a piece for blamers, but I was inundated with (and inspired by) emails from readers who self-identified as […]