Am I Supposed to Be My Kid’s Friend?
I give frequent talks to parents on issues related to technology. After my presentations, parents ask for advice in managing their children’s behavior. I hear similar questions and worries everywhere I go, with slight variations depending on the population of my audience. However, I am nearly always met with one specific concern that comes in […]
Do You Need “Amazing” Experiences to Feel Alive?
Experience is the new it thing. We’re experience junkies, chasing experiences like storm chasers chase tornados. Walk into any shop and it’s all about the experience—free water, espresso, salespeople that like you, home-baked cookies, in-store entertainment, shoulder rubs, and the list goes on. On social media, it’s all about posting photos of ourselves having amazing and of […]
Mindful Speech: Using Your Words to Help Not Harm
When we want our kids to express themselves in ways other than tantrumming or throwing peas at the dog, we say “Use your words.” But I often wonder, do adults really know how to use our words skillfully, in ways that help and don’t harm? This morning I was on a train listening to a mother […]
How Thoughts Get in the Way of Being Present
If just one word were to go in a time capsule to represent our society right now, the word would have to be “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is in every book title, workshop, conversation, idea, and everything else we now encounter. We’re a society obsessed with mindfulness. So what is this thing we’re all talking about and presumably trying to create? And […]
The Invisible Mom: If You Feel Unappreciated as a Mom, You’re Not Alone
Being a mom is perhaps the most all-inclusive and demanding job in the history of “man”kind. It’s impossible to capture what running a family with school-age children entails these days, but here’s a very, very, very short list of Mom’s job… -Life management: schooling, homework, tutoring, forms, academic, athletic and social schedules, playdates, activities, camps, birthdays, health care, […]
Do You Feel Alone When You’re Together? How to Deepen Your Connection With Your Partner
A lot of couples show up in my office because they don’t feel deeply connected. Often, one member of the couple feels like she can’t connect with her partner and is lonely in the relationship. Couples describe intimate relationships that contain a paltry supply of real intimacy. In light of this, I wanted to offer something I witnessed recently, which was […]
What is Forgiveness, Really? When “Letting it Go” and “Burying the Hatchet” Fail…What Works?
What is forgiveness and how does it happen? We talk so much about forgiveness, throw around so many slogans, and yet it seems that we all have radically different ideas about what it actually means. We want to know how to forgive and yet it can be very hard to achieve or practice something that we don’t […]
When We Can No Longer Silence Our Truth
This week something remarkable happened—change happened. When a long-present way of feeling or behaving transforms, I view it as a miracle, a gift of grace. Two months ago, a dear friend, someone I consider family, asked to borrow money. I’m working a lot these days (thankfully) and therefore could provide the help. My friend told me that […]
Choosing Love Over Fear: Responding From Love Not Reacting From Fear
Reject fear, choose love. This is a popular refrain and wonderful advice. Many believe that there are only two primal emotions in the human being, love and fear, and that we cannot feel both at once. And, that in the same way that light removes darkness, love can remove fear. The choice to reject fear and choose love can feel like […]
When Feeling Guilty is Your Natural State
Do you ever feel like you’re inclined to accept the blame when things go wrong? The truth is, some of us are more prone to feeling guilty, as if a background sense of guilt is just wired into our system. Even if we don’t know specifically what we did wrong, we’re convinced that we did something we shouldn’t have, […]