The Likability Cage: Open the Door and Step Out!
As soon as we can hold up our little-girl heads, those heads start getting filled up with ideas on how to be a good girl. Nice, helpful, selfless, generous, available, caring, generous, self-sacrificing—we learn quickly that it’s best to have no needs of our own; the better we are at having no needs, in fact, the […]
Are You an Overgiver? When Life’s Demands Feel Overwhelming
As a psychotherapist, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Most people find modern life to be utterly overwhelming. The way we’ve designed our lives in this society doesn’t work, not really, and doesn’t promote well-being. We have too much on our plates. The amount of responsibility we carry and what we […]
The Likability Cage: Are Women Still Trapped?
Thirty-five years ago, my sorority sister was raped at a fraternity party. She didn’t report it for reasons we can guess, having heard this story a thousand times by now. Indeed, it was the clichéd story: the popular, handsome fraternity boy from a powerful family who happened to be a big donor to the university […]
Are You A People-Pleaser at Your Own Expense?
Petra was furious when she woke up in the morning—furious at herself. The previous evening, she had met up with an old friend visiting from out of town. He was going through a rough divorce and needed to talk. Petra went into the evening ready to listen, and to be a good friend. Based on the fact […]