Nancy Colier

Trauma is Not A Bad Date or Discontinued Starbucks Drink

A teenager recently told me she experienced “trauma” because a friend gave her a dirty look. I’ve heard other young people use the word “trauma” to describe not being invited to a party or a parent yelling at them for playing hooky or being asked to redo a school assignment. A demanding boss, a bad date, a […]

What’s Happened to Emotional Resilience?

My friend Jane was lamenting the fact that her 10-year-old daughter would be coming home from camp early. Jane had finally given in; she couldn’t take the sobbing phone calls about how awful camp was and how the girls in the cabin were irritating, impossible, and essentially, mistreating her daughter.  My friend was confused and frustrated […]

You Go, Girl: Growing Up On Cotton Candy Cliches

My babysitter gave my 10-year-old daughter a scrapbook. The sparkly pink binder was filled with adorable photos of the two of them eating ice cream, drinking smoothies, ice skating, wearing rainbow wigs, dancing to Tik Tok videos, and all the other Instagram-ready photos we’re so familiar with these days. In between the photos, my sitter had […]

What If We Acted a Little Kinder Than We Felt, or Thought?

A feeling of joy and relief has arrived for many people in this country. After four years of going to bed with our stomachs in knots, hearts heavy and brains on fire, trying to make peace with yet another horrible thing, it will be a while before our shoulders fully drop and the knots in […]

We Weren’t Always As Good As We Are Now, So What?

Why there’s no shame in crawling before we walk. There’s something profoundly disturbing going on in our culture right now. Well, truth be told, there are a multitude of profoundly disturbing things going on. But at the center of our toxic culture is a rapidly metastasizing and malignant sense of entitlement—a righteousness. And specifically, the […]

Am I Supposed to Be My Kid’s Friend?

I give frequent talks to parents on issues related to technology.  After my presentations, parents ask for advice in managing their children’s behavior.  I hear similar questions and worries everywhere I go, with slight variations depending on the population of my audience.  However, I am nearly always met with one specific concern that comes in […]

Do You Need “Amazing” Experiences to Feel Alive?

Experience is the new it thing. We’re experience junkies, chasing experiences like storm chasers chase tornados. Walk into any shop and it’s all about the experience—free water, espresso, salespeople that like you, home-baked cookies, in-store entertainment, shoulder rubs, and the list goes on. On social media, it’s all about posting photos of ourselves having amazing and of […]

Mindful Speech: Using Your Words to Help Not Harm

When we want our kids to express themselves in ways other than tantrumming or throwing peas at the dog, we say “Use your words.”  But I often wonder, do adults really know how to use our words skillfully, in ways that help and don’t harm? This morning I was on a train listening to a mother […]

Wellness from Within

Delta Sky: How does our relationship with technology impact our health and well-being?