Living In The Question: When Not Knowing Is The Answer
We are obsessed with knowing. We demand answers to all our questions and confusions, answers to even the as-yet unanswerable. And, we demand that we find answers quickly, to save us from having to sit in the unknown. We’re taught from the earliest age that not knowing is bad, we’re bad, or at least not as good if we don’t […]
Do You Have the Courage to Stop Doing?
From human doing to human being…how a little stillness can go a long way… Our basic state of wellbeing is obscured because of the essential paradigm (or misunderstanding) we live by, namely, that we are human doings, not human beings. We see ourselves, our value, as being the sum total of our experiences and accomplishments—what […]
How to Not Burden Our Kids With Our Own Emotional Stuff
Being a good enough parent on a practical, task-based level is a bit like doing an iron-woman triathlon—daily. But the real triathlon of parenting is the work that goes into staying awake and aware of our own emotional “stuff” and not putting that on or leaking that into our relationship with our kids. I recently witnessed, yet again, how […]
When the Truth Sets You Free
For years, I’ve had an ongoing conflict with a family member. It’s a conflict that I think many of us can identify with. The issue, in a nutshell, is that this other person believes that I should be providing something for her that (she believes) I am not providing. And, she believes that not providing this for her […]
“Just Let It Go” But What Does That Mean and How Do You Do It?
What does let it go mean? I’ve always wondered. I’ve also always had a slight aversion to anyone telling me or anyone else to do it. Truth is, I don’t completely understand what letting it go actually is or what it entails. I spent some time with a couple of friends this weekend and one was sharing something deeply upsetting […]
FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real: When Our Thoughts Scare Us
I took a deep dive into fear this month. Over this past year, someone I lovedearly, a close family member, has been experiencing a physical symptom. We’ve been unable to get to the bottom of it; the doctors have not been particularly concerned and so we’ve resorted to just managing the symptom best we can. I haven’t been particularly worried, assuming it was just one of […]
Because Our Thoughts Make Sense Doesn’t Mean They’re True
Trying to find peace with the mind is like trying to open a lock with a banana… Carol came to see me with a serious agenda. She and her husband had had a disagreement the evening before our session and Carol wanted to explain to me why her husband had said what upset her, and […]
Do You Need “Amazing” Experiences to Feel Alive?
Experience is the new it thing. We’re experience junkies, chasing experiences like storm chasers chase tornados. Walk into any shop and it’s all about the experience—free water, espresso, salespeople that like you, home-baked cookies, in-store entertainment, shoulder rubs, and the list goes on. On social media, it’s all about posting photos of ourselves having amazing and of […]
How Thoughts Get in the Way of Being Present
If just one word were to go in a time capsule to represent our society right now, the word would have to be “mindfulness.” Mindfulness is in every book title, workshop, conversation, idea, and everything else we now encounter. We’re a society obsessed with mindfulness. So what is this thing we’re all talking about and presumably trying to create? And […]
The Invisible Mom: If You Feel Unappreciated as a Mom, You’re Not Alone
Being a mom is perhaps the most all-inclusive and demanding job in the history of “man”kind. It’s impossible to capture what running a family with school-age children entails these days, but here’s a very, very, very short list of Mom’s job… -Life management: schooling, homework, tutoring, forms, academic, athletic and social schedules, playdates, activities, camps, birthdays, health care, […]