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Have you ever noticed how frequently your mind returns to problems and situations that cause you pain, and insists on rehashing what’s wrong? It’s a strange phenomenon really, our addiction to thinking about problems. Even
My babysitter gave my 10-year-old daughter a scrapbook. The sparkly pink binder was filled with adorable photos of the two of them eating ice cream, drinking smoothies, ice skating, wearing rainbow wigs, dancing to Tik
A feeling of joy and relief has arrived for many people in this country. After four years of going to bed with our stomachs in knots, hearts heavy and brains on fire, trying to make
Petra was furious when she woke up in the morning—furious at herself. The previous evening, she had met up with an old friend visiting from out of town. He was going through a rough divorce and needed
Wow, 2020! Our year of anxiety. Many of us are walking around with a sense of trepidation, if not abject fear, in our bellies, and brains. Sometimes it feels like there’s so much to be
Basic truth: When conversing with other human beings, most of us are inclined to offer an uh-huh, hmmm or head nod every now and again, to let the other person know we’re hearing them and receiving their information. These gestures
Switching from the five-year plan to the right now plan… The workshop started with a simple question: What do you want? That question was followed shortly with What is your deepest intention? And then, What do you want to create
Jill and her husband had attended a friend’s party, and Jill came home upset. Her husband’s friendliness—and what looked like flirtation—with another woman kept her awake all night, feeling hurt, angry, and threatened. She knew her
Why there’s no shame in crawling before we walk. There’s something profoundly disturbing going on in our culture right now. Well, truth be told, there are a multitude of profoundly disturbing things going on. But
Ava wanted to tell her husband about a troubling and upsetting argument she’d had with her sister. She wanted to process the experience; she wanted his understanding and empathy; she wanted to be heard. But when
I recently wrote an article about a client who enjoys her marriage and who also struggles with her partner’s angry outbursts. The article garnered some fierce criticism. To recap: After many years of explaining to her partner
Are you starting to feel anxious about the world opening up, about possibilities becoming possible again? We’re not there yet, but are you feeling a little nervous nonetheless, with maybe even a tinge of loss? For a lot of people, this phase of the
When life gets hard and things go wrong, the most counterintuitive and seemingly impossible choice is to relax, to soften, and find ease with what’s happening. How can we (and why should we) relax when life feels
There comes a time in every relationship when you realize that something you think you need and “should” have is not available. What you do when you discover this can determine the future of the
From the time we’re young, we’re taught to find the silver lining in every cloud, to search for the lesson in every challenge. Adversity is our teacher, darkness brings light, difficulty is an opportunity. Yes,