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Ava wanted to tell her husband about a troubling and upsetting argument she’d had with her sister. She wanted to process the experience; she wanted his understanding and empathy; she wanted to be heard. But when
I recently wrote an article about a client who enjoys her marriage and who also struggles with her partner’s angry outbursts. The article garnered some fierce criticism. To recap: After many years of explaining to her partner
Are you starting to feel anxious about the world opening up, about possibilities becoming possible again? We’re not there yet, but are you feeling a little nervous nonetheless, with maybe even a tinge of loss? For a lot of people, this phase of the
When life gets hard and things go wrong, the most counterintuitive and seemingly impossible choice is to relax, to soften, and find ease with what’s happening. How can we (and why should we) relax when life feels
There comes a time in every relationship when you realize that something you think you need and “should” have is not available. What you do when you discover this can determine the future of the
From the time we’re young, we’re taught to find the silver lining in every cloud, to search for the lesson in every challenge. Adversity is our teacher, darkness brings light, difficulty is an opportunity. Yes,
How to keep going when you’re depleted and there’s no finish line in sight. As a society, we are hitting the proverbial wall in this pandemic. We’ve gone through the stage of being happy to clean out the closets, bake new
We are buried in “shoulds” when it comes to what we’re supposed to do with family members who treat us badly. We’re taught that we should feel grateful for family—no matter what. The fact that a relationship
It’s remarkable, but the feeling “I’m not doing enough” can survive and thrive even in a pandemic. Your inner-critic might be starting to kick in just about now, perhaps asking, have you been doing that fabulous
So, we’ve baked 1,002 brownies, made 76 LEGO castles, played 43 rounds of UNO, read seven chapters of a graphic novel, and it’s still only 10 a.m. This is not good news. After six days cooped up in
In times of fear, we return to the simple joys, and to each other. Yesterday, with all the craziness going on in the news, all the reasons we should avoid each other, not touch anything,
Married for 12 years, Lisa and Cliff were enjoying a fun date night out. Back at home, Cliff wanted to be physically intimate. Lisa, usually game, was exhausted and told Cliff that sex wasn’t in the cards that
What happens when we realize our partner is not the parent we wished for? If we’re very fortunate, we have a parent who is 100% devoted to us, unconditionally. We experience a caretaker whom we believe (whether true or not), is entirely
When we get married, we make all sorts of promises. The marriage contract, by its very nature, is a series of promises. But, when you really think about it, the institution of marriage, what we assume and
Kim came downstairs for breakfast that morning only to find the coffeemaker full of old coffee. Yesterday’s brew sat in the pot, looking stale and dead. Her husband had always woken up earliest and was the designated coffee-maker in the family.
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